Category: Coaching

Are you 2018 ready?

Piyush Sharma 0 Comment Coaching, Wellness , ,

Year 2018 is around the corner…so are flyers, promotions, offers, articles and jokes for the new year resolutions.

My friend forwarded this message on our group “My Goal for 2018 is… to accomplish the goals of 2017 which I should’ve done in 2016 because I promised them in 2015 and planned in 2014.” 🙂

Most of us in the group replied “me too” and that got me thinking…

Do we really need new year resolution/s?

You might say Yes/No/Maybe/NotSoImportant; and you all are right!

One might argue that if you are committed enough, every moment or “Now” is the right time to begin and that’s true.

But… yeah you saw it coming… my point is, whatever said and done… there is definitely a sort of collective energy and hope in the environment… every morning… every Monday… every 1st of the month… and same holds true for the new Year! These are more like natural cues provided to us to start fresh with a renewed sense of energy. Don’t you agree?

So, my answer is Yes, go for new year resolutions. From the energy point of view, it’s like putting the sails up when wind is flowing in the desired direction.

Now the next important question is – How do we come up with new year resolution/s?

Most of us want to change or do so many things in our life. If we could, some of us might even want to change everything in life. But I think there is always that one thing… a habit, a hobby, a lifestyle change or something, that keeps coming back in our thoughts or in our discussions. Go for that one thing (yes, one thing at a time) and see if it fits the definition of a SMART goal.

S – specific and pushes you out of your comfort zone

M – meaningful enough to keep you motivated

A – achievable and acceptable to your loved ones

R – realistic and rewarding

T – time-bound and trackable

You might come up with a list of such resolutions/goals. Scrub through the list multiple times and pick out the one you think is of the highest priority at the moment.

Next obvious question is, how to keep up with a new year resolution and succeed?

Simple answer is, a good plan and a committed execution. Duh!

But even before we start planning, I think it is really crucial to build a strong emotional connect with it. This, in my experience, is the most important step and will be the deciding factor in success or failure of every next step in the process. Some ways to build this emotional connect with your resolution are:

  • Spend time with your resolution, as if you are time travelling in future and living it.
  • Think about every single detail, imagining as if you have already achieved it.
    • How will it be for you and others?
    • How does it feel? Put words to these thoughts, feelings and emotions.
    • How are you celebrating your success with your loved ones? Very important and highly effective.
  • Visualise it with maximal clarity and feel it with every single cell of your body.
  • Once you are excited and pumped up enough, make sure to document it. This document will act as a template to your planning and keep you motivated while executing the plan.
  • Write it like a story or paint it like a picture… or associate with a corresponding favourite image or song of yours… you can even record your story as an audio and listen to it later for topping up on motivation… think of ways that are convenient and come naturally to you.

Proper visualization by the exercise of concentration and willpower enables us to materialize thoughts, not only as dreams or visions in the mental realm, but also as experiences in the material realm. ~ Paramahansa Yogananda

Once you have established a strong emotional bond with your resolution, next step is the planning. My two cents on planning are:

  • Research and identify what all and who all (hint hint!) you will need to support
  • Create realistic and practical time-line for the resolution
  • Include one change or action at a time and build on it
  • Include ways to monitor and track progress
  • Have specific mini-milestones to reward the progress but word of caution; don’t go overboard with the reward (like cheat days in dieting!)

Lastly, stick to the plan and execute it. Some practical tips for the same are:

  • Keep calm and carry on. Remember the end goal and celebrations!
  • Broadcast only if it’s part of the plan, surprise element can actually make it all very exciting.
  • If feeling low, trick your mind into taking a baby step towards the planned action. It works. OR keep these options handy to recharge (link).
  • Missed a milestone? It’s okay. Hinderances, obstacles and slight de-tours are part of every journey. Be gentle, accept it and move on, perseverance is the key.
  • Keep going back to your emotional connect write-up/image/song/recording for topping up motivation.

So, wait not… go ahead… visualize, strategize and realize those long overdue dreams.

Wish you all happy holidays and a blissful year ahead!

Stay Blessed!

~ Piyush

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Emotional Mastery: Channeling Anger

Piyush Sharma 0 Comment Coaching, Wellness , , , , , , , ,

Friends, this post is a part of an upcoming webinar series for a life of fulfillment and happiness – “Emotional Mastery”, with my dear friend Suresh Sivaraman (Blog: themindfulinfluencer).

We will soon announce the dates for the first live event. As a prelude, here are the links to a gift pack of 5-video series, “Emotional Mastery: Channeling your Anger”. Thank you so much Suresh for such an insightful conversation!

We start the conversation with an interesting question – are we witnessing a culture that excessively glorifies and ignites anger? We share some statistics and discuss how anger has become such a common attitude in day-to- day life. Be it in the form of aggression, a part of discipline or even so called “macho” image and “fighting” spirit.

Do we ever take a pause and think “Why are we so angry and with whom?”

In the next part we discuss impacts of anger on our lives. In Suresh’s words, “Anger is a KILL JOY of sorts. When you allow anger to fester for too long, it is difficult to find happiness. You tend to ignore the positives in life, and focus excessively on what is wrong and out of order.”

The final part of the discussion covers a simple 2-pronged framework – “Recognize (Notice and Take stock) and Handle (Regulate, Figure out and Move on)”, that you can apply easily and channel your anger for better outcomes in life.

Suresh and myself eagerly look forward to your comments, personal experiences and suggestions.

Stay well and stay inspired!

~ Piyush

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How do we recharge ourselves?

Piyush Sharma 0 Comment Coaching, Wellness , , , , , , , , ,

Actual question in my mind was – are we recharged enough? But when I started thinking on that I realized that if I know how we recharge ourselves, I will have the answer to the main question – if it’s enough or not!

So, I reframed the question to – how do we recharge ourselves?

Now some of the obvious recharging options, which I call “direct plug into power socket” type recharge, are:

  • Good night sleep
  • Morning walk or exercise
  • Healthy meals
  • Good work environment
  • Having a hobby or ‘me’ time
  • Time out with loved ones
  • Any celebration or festival
  • Breaks or vacation
  • Prayer or meditation

This list depends on individual’s choice, routine and circumstances. Important thing to notice here is that most of these need some bit of planning or effort from our side. And to make that effort itself, we need some initial charge to provide motivation.

So, in this post I will discuss such options of recharge, which can keep our battery at a ‘motivated’ level. I call them “fire-fly moments” type recharge options. Just remember this analogy of a person collecting fire-flies in a glass jar to have enough light on a dark night.

To give you an idea, some of the “fire-fly moment” examples from my own experience are:

  • Getting up beside a loved one and exchanging sleepy smiles
  • Looking at the morning sky, trees, birds and absorbing the enthusiasm of the atmosphere
  • Saying hello with full excitement to fellow morning walkers
  • Exchanging smile or a little chat with a neighbor’s kid going to school
  • Exchanging greeting with a neighbor going to office
  • Acknowledging someone’s effort with a little chitchat; like a traffic police officer, road side vendor, bus conductor or a cab driver
  • A simple act of chivalry in the bus by offering a seat or space to someone
  • Sharing some light moments during lunch or coffee break with colleagues
  • Sincerely appreciating a colleague for a job well done
  • Surprising loved one by carrying their favorite snack item in the evening
  • Listening to loved one’s day experience
  • Listening or humming a favorite song together with your loved one, kid or a friend
  • Dancing on a favorite song with your loved one
  • Remembering a good old time on a telephonic conversation
  • Even recollecting or discussing such experiences with your loved ones

We can see that we don’t even need to create them, these”fire-fly moments” are constantly happening around us. All we need is to open ourselves for these real “social connection” experiences with people around us and the environment.

So simple yet so powerful, isn’t it?

Above list can easily run into pages depending on our willingness to recognize, consciously experience and creatively convert even the faintest of such “fire-fly moment” into a powerful recharge option.

Just by living in the moment and enjoying these simple experiences to the fullest, we can easily get enough energy for making that extra ‘conscious’ effort and achieve more in life.

And the best part is that most of these experiences are two-way recharging option, so not only we get recharged; we recharge others around us.

Just imagine how much joy we can spread in the process of keeping ourselves recharged!

Think about it…

Stay well and live in the moment!

~ Piyush

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Relationship – Is it about me or us?

Piyush Sharma 1 Comment Coaching, Wellness , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Well, what a week I have had after my first post – Are we living or existing ? . I am overwhelmed with the encouragement from all the friends and family. I would like to thank each one of you for taking time to read it and sharing insightful thoughts.

I now feel a lot more comfortable touching another topic close to my heart– “Relationship – Is it about me or us?”

I would be using a metaphor to make it easy for our brains to ask the right kind of questions, look at the picture above – a couple maneuvering a kayak through a river. Though relationships are much more complex but I could immediately see a lot of similarities. Let’s for this post imagine a kayak as a relationship, that we are taking together on an amazing and unpredictable journey of life.

*Note for my left-brain, even if the couple in picture were on different kayaks, imagine it like those couple races where you need to reach the finish-line together.

Now to simplify further, I have divided this journey into 2 sections: Section 1 – The planning and preparation phase;  Section 2 – The journey itself. For both these sections, we will have questions for an individual – ‘me’ questions and questions that we discuss together – ‘us’ questions.

Section 1 – The planning and preparation phase – This is similar to the initial phase of a relationship.

Let’s first look at the ‘me’ set of questions:

  • Do I know my strengths and weaknesses?
  • Do I know my partner’s strengths and weaknesses?
  • Do I trust my partner?
  • Do I know where I am headed ?
  • Am I 100% committed to do my best, no matter what?
  • Am I ready for the journey – physically, mentally and emotionally?

Then comes the ‘us’ set of questions, need to be discussed together:

  • Do we understand each other’s language?
  • Are we transparent about each other’s strengths and weaknesses?
  • Have we discussed and picked our ‘roles’ based on our strength?
  • Are we aware of each other’s expectations from the journey?
  • Are we committed to support each other on this journey, no matter what?
  • Are we ready for the journey together –physically, mentally and emotionally?

Section 2 – The journey itself

If only a journey could be so simple that it can be planned entirely. The preparation might make it smooth through the easy segments of the river but there is always some unpredictability.  This could be a rough patch or a tricky rapid or a free fall or even a boulder in the path of our kayak.

The real test of mettle is in the journey itself, especially through rough patches… that’s how life is, isn’t it?

And remember this is not the time to castigate each other…What’s done is done…Life is happening NOW!

Again, some ‘me’ questions first:

  • Am I paddling in sync with my partner?
  • Am I paying attention to my own fatigue?
  • Am I paying attention to my partner’s fatigue?
  • Am I having space to stretch?
  • Am I giving my partner space to stretch?
  • Am I supporting my partner to the best of my abilities?
  • Am I acknowledging and appreciating my partner’s support?
  • Am I encouraging my partner?
  • Am I communicating to my partner?
  • Am I listening to my partner?
  • Am I living or existing?
  • Am I happy?

And the only ‘us’ questions I could think of during the journey:

Now at the end of this post, I am thinking,  is relationship beyond ‘me’ or  even beyond ‘us’? Could there be another dimension which can take it to new heights – (me) 2 ?

Think about it…

Stay well and stay inspired!

~ Piyush

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Are we living or existing?

Piyush Sharma 10 Comments Coaching , , , , , , ,

It was a casual discussion with friends over tea and the conversation revolved around one question…”Are we living or existing?” Profound question indeed!

Though I honestly wanted to have an easier topic for the first blog post, I could not stop thinking about it. So here is my attempt at thinking out loud.

“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” – Oscar Wilde

Some say it is the ‘dreams’ that differentiate living from existing. Some say it is the ‘control over life’ that makes living empowering over mere existing. Some suggest that if we have ‘power to drive’, then we are living; and if we are watching our life elapsing from the back-seat, then we are quite simply existing.

No doubt, they are all correct. But before we get into answering the ‘bigger’ question, there are some ‘simpler’ questions that we need to ask ourselves:

How do I feel right now?

How do I want to feel?

Am I even ‘existing’ consciously?

If we have answers to these then we are on a right path. If not, then this is where we need to begin our journey of contemplation.

First step is to acknowledge and have gratitude that we ‘exist’; add feelings to it and we are naturally on the second step – existing consciously. Next when we start feeling happy in existing consciously, we start to have dreams.

And once one of those dreams start keeping us up at night, we start ‘living’!

“Dream Dream Dream…Dreams transform into thoughts and thoughts result in actions.” – A P J Abdul Kalam

Until we start ‘living’, let’s thank ourselves for ‘existing’.

Stay well and stay inspired!

~ Piyush

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